A Testimony of Apostasy

If I only had a nickel for every time I've heard the following statement:

"I've always been active in the Church, and have always had a deep and abiding testimony of the gospel, but now that I know that Joseph Smith picked his nose in the 2nd grade, I feel betrayed and lied to... I mean... if the Church hid THIS from me as an active member, what ELSE has it hidden from me?  That's why I walked away from the Church, my family, friends, and acquaintances.  I feel so much more freedom now that I'm living a world of truth, and not a world of fraud."

Seriously?

The latest contestant on "My Testimony Sucketh" is a former Bishop in the Pacific Rim, who was so spiritually traumatized by the Church's latest essay on Race and the Priesthood that he's questioning whether everything he ever taught was a lie... and this is the interesting part... because "the excuses he, as a Bishop, made for some policies of the church were incorrect."  But because some past leaders of the Church had used the same speculation, in his mind, this left the door open for any and all doctrine to be incorrect... never mind that the Church itself never endorsed or taught the reasoning that this former Bishop (or the past leaders of the Church) had employed.  Take a minute and let the pure ridiculousness and lack of logic sink in.

"Let's see... I taught things that were never official teachings of the Church, and then I found out that I was wrong."  Yeah, THERE'S a reason to leave the Church.  And, of course, the underscoring justification for this is that some past leader was equally out of line for using the same speculation-in-the-absence-of-divine-revelation. 

This whole mindset indicates a two-fold weakness... 1) it completely ignores spiritual confirmation of divine truth, and 2) it almost always infers (even if unstated) a belief in Prophetic Infallibility.

The main problem with this "Gosh golly, I discovered something sketchy with Church History, now my testimony is toast" rationale is that it completely and immediately reveals the individual to be one who has never had a true testimony to begin with. "But how can you possibly know that?" you ask?  Easily.  When the Holy Ghost truly testifies to your soul that the Gospel is true, it changes you.  During all of the trials, hurt feelings, etc. that come our way as we traipse through this minefield we call "Mortal Life," the one thing that sustains us is NOT our BELIEF that the Church is true... it is the sure knowledge that we received when the Spirit testified to us that it was true.

I've actually been asked by anti's what it would take to convince me that the Church is not true.  My response?  "You can't."  You see, even if they COULD manage to string three words together in a coherent sentence, much less prove to my satisfaction that Joseph Smith was a complete and utter fraud, that pesky issue remains... "But what do I do about the witness that I have received from the Spirit, which I could never deny?"  And that's it in a nutshell.  End of discussion.  Game over, man.  To this day, I've never received a satisfactory answer to that one.  The idea of a spiritual witness from the Holy Ghost is a concept that is completely foreign to most of those not of our faith.

As far as prophetic infallibility goes, one of the more glaring errors that Church members have made since the Restoration, and one which the Brethren are constantly struggling to teach is the fact that neither Prophets nor anyone else in the Church is infallible.  For some, however, "The prophet will never be allowed to lead the Church astray" is a de facto code phrase for "Everything the Prophet says, writes, or comments on is infallible, and is perfect."  As President Dieter Uchdorf reiterated in the Oct 2013 General Conference, this is clearly not the case. 

The reality, Bishop, if you're even out there, is that the Church *IS* true.  Yes, you taught foolish things that the Church never authorized, and I'm so very sorry that you're all butt-hurt over that, but guess what?  That doesn't render the Gospel untrue.  The truth is that you were incorrect... and that's on you.  And if you were actually a Bishop without having any witness of the Spirit of the truth of the Gospel... I'm sorry, but you had no business accepting the call in the first place, IMHO.  That's also on you.

The reality is that is should never matter what some Church Leader did or didn't teach, or whether Joseph Smith did or didn't pick his nose.  "We see in part, and we prophesy in part."  Line upon line, remember?  Yes, we may learn (to the horror of some) that the early leaders of the Church were human, after all.  And yes, we may even discover that the "Standard Gospel Answer" that we always taught was wrong.  Whatever.  But what we cannot jettison so neatly is the spiritual confirmation from the Holy Ghost that we have received.

One has their agency in this life to either be faithful, or faithless.  One can humble themselves, and petition the Lord in prayer and fasting for understanding and direction, or one can arrogantly hop up on the closest soapbox and scream their various doubts through the megaphones of the blogosphere.  But each choice, in its own way, reveals something invaluable about the individual.